L – Love Marriage 

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We fell in love and were in a relationship for five years. We then decided to let our families know about us. Even when you have very cool parents, talking to them about your love life is no joke. I am closest to my sister and she was the first one to know about it. Her reaction, “Are you serious?” That was just the beginning and I knew I had to convince my parents too that yes, I am serious.

Back at home people had already started bombarding my parents with marriage proposals. However, my parents had assured me that they won’t even talk about marriage till the time I am ready. They were happy to wait till I finish my education and get a job. I also knew that they will not have a problem if I choose my life partner myself but the thought of spilling the beans gave me cold feet.

So, I had to set the stage, prepare accordingly and then find the right time to raise the topic. It was the time of Durga puja; I purposely chose that time because everybody is automatically in a joyous mood during the puja in my home. I applied for leave well in advance and went home for two weeks. Three days were already gone, my sister asked me every day over the phone, “did you tell them?” I couldn’t gather the courage at all. I went to the puja pandal and prayed to the goddess, told her everything and then took her blessings.

I also had two of my cousins at home during that time who were well aware of my plans. I returned home from the puja celebrations and told them that I am now going to talk to my parents about it. Both the boys jumped in surprise and ran away far from home, wishing me good luck and leaving me alone. I thought they were with me. Brothers!

So, now I was all alone in my room thinking about what to do next. My parents were watching television in the other room. I first made tea for all three of us and then while sipping it I finally pushed myself to tell them what I had to. To my surprise they already knew about it, I didn’t even have to take his name. Yes, parents are the smartest.

Baba said, “if you are saying he is the best for you then he must be. I trust you.” Maa said, “we want to see you happy and I know you must have spent a lot of time coming to this decision.” They won my heart and I was all smiling.

They chose to give importance to the happiness of their children and not to what society had to say. The wedding happened and this Marathi boy was welcomed whole-heartedly to our Bengali family.  My parents ensured they speak in Hindi so he could understand, and cook vegetarian food that he could relish. The meals were accompanied by a variety of sweets and baba ensured he bought the best from the different corners of the city for his son-in-law. One day he planned to cook litti-chokha, a famous delicacy from my hometown that he loved. My husband was completely blown away as it was a very rare thing for him to see a man cook and that too with so much ease and pleasure. He joined him too and started making the litti balls. That was surely an evening to remember. Another thing he wanted to do was take Siddharth to Siddharth’s place, by which he meant he wanted to visit Bodh Gaya with his son-in-law. It was such a memorable family trip we had. Now, when I remember all the little things he did for his sons-in-law, I realize, he was not just a great father but an awesome father-in-law too.

Baba was very fond of Sid and they both spent a great time together. Looking at them liking each other made me realize that I took the right decision in my life. When I was young, I used to say, if I get someone like baba only then I will get married. Though nobody can be like baba yet I did find someone who shares a lot in common with him. They are both soft-spoken, polite, quiet, love to eat and sleep, don’t get angry, don’t shout at anybody, philanthropic, kind-hearted, easy-going, humane, suave, gentlemen, handsome and love me in abundance!

When I lost baba and was following all the rituals, everyone told him that a son-in-law is not required to follow everything strictly and he can resume normal food and lifestyle. He responded, “Baba always treated me like his son and I would do everything that a son does.” I had nothing more to say. I am blessed to have the best of men in my life.

Coming up next –

M – Maa, a True Blessing

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