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That day it rained like never before. It was Vishwakarma Puja, which is celebrated with a lot of pomp and show in my hometown, Dhanbad. My sister who was around the age of six went to visit the puja venue with our neighbours.
Maa was expecting her second child and was going through a complicated pregnancy. During her second trimester, she had gone out to appear for an exam and while returning she and her friends were walking home. A truck driver saw them and offered a ride but my super active mommy jumped off the truck while getting down. Along with her, I jumped too, inside her tummy and that created all the complications. She almost lost the child at the sixth month and was hence advised to bed rest till the time of delivery.
She said that during that time, everyone around her kept saying it was going to be a boy. However, she was petrified within and kept praying that she delivers a healthy child, a boy or a girl was not her concern at all. She was already going through a difficult phase and was hoping things to get better from there.
That rainy day she experienced labour pain and was rushed to the hospital. My sister was enjoying her evening at our neighbour’s place while some of our nearby relatives joined my father at the hospital. Everyone outside the labour room was hoping, praying and expecting a son. According to them, because my parents already had a daughter, they needed a son now. A son would complete the family and everything would be perfect. What would they even do with another girl?
Then, the unexpected happened, a daughter was born, yet again. Yes, I was born that day, unwelcomed and unwanted. My birth was not a joyous moment for many. Some people didn’t even enter the room to see my face, they had nothing to be happy about, nothing to congratulate and I can’t even imagine what all they must have said to my father. The delivery, as expected, was a difficult one. My mother suffered severe blood loss and was immediately taken away from me for further treatment. She was unconscious and too critical to react at my birth. My sister was still unaware that I was born. The relatives were more concerned because I was not as fair and beautiful as my elder sister.
The only person who was happy to see my face was baba. He immediately took out some money from his pocket and gave it to our neighbour and asked him to distribute rasgulla to everyone. That neighbour who was a young boy then went around happily delivering the news with sweets. He is the one who shared this story with me when I was very young and also said how happy baba was. Later, even maa said that he always wanted a daughter and was overjoyed to get two.
My parents must have gone through a lot when I was born. My mother was partially paralysed for months, unable to take care of herself or a newborn. She must have been completely exhausted both physically and mentally. I understood her condition only after I gave birth, and it took me thirty years to realize her pain. It was then, that she told me everything about baba and how he single-handedly took care of the entire family. He helped her to recover, took care of my sister and spent sleepless nights so I could get some sleep.
Taking care of a newborn is not easy at all and on top of that, he was taking care of a bedridden wife and a six-year-old child too. He would bathe me in the morning, wrap me up in a cloth and leave me beside maa, who was unable to move but would place her hand on me so I could fall asleep. He would then take care of my sister, cooking, cleaning and other household chores. At night, he took me out in the garden for a stroll till I fell asleep. Maa says, I loved the breeze outside and the moment he would bring me inside the house I would wake up again and start crying. When hungry, he would feed me milk with a spoon and kept changing my wet clothes all night.
Today, if I am alive, it is because of him. He took utmost care of that baby girl and she grew up holding his hand, nurtured by his love and care. Without him, this life has no meaning.
It is beyond my imagination how he managed everything. I grew up to be the more pampered one. I was never made to feel that I was unwelcomed by the society. Today, I don’t even bother who was unhappy at my birth because my family never made me feel dejected. Our parents didn’t compare us to boys and never stopped us from doing anything because we were girls.
However, the society has time and again pitied my parents because they had no son. This is a sad reality and it holds true even today. I was lucky that I was born into such a loving family. Imagine if that was not the case, how difficult it would have been for that girl child to survive.
Can you even imagine how difficult it is for a girl child to grow up knowing she was unwanted?
I’ll leave you here to think upon this.
Coming up next –
C – Cook it like my Daddy
I’m participating in #BlogchatterA2Z by https://www.theblogchatter.com
A role model indeed 😀.
Rashi, I can completely relate to this. I was the third daughter to my parents…so you can imagine the trauma my mother had to undergo when I was born. Such was society in those times. Only a son was believed to complete the family. And for a long time, they kept telling my parents to try for a son again. My mother was also upset when I was born, but I won’t blame her. Because the kind of pressure your surroundings put on you, is incomparable.
That your mother jumped out of the truck and people thought she must be carrying a boy is exactly the mindset that I see prevalent even today. Hope this will change soon. Already girls are proving to be assets for their parents; they are better caregivers to their parents compared to boys, isn’t it?
Loved your post…sorry for the really long comment.
Touching story, Rashi and how fathers stand by their daughters always!! Love, love our fathers…:)
your father must have been a very special person. How wonderful it is to come from a loving family, no matter what anyone else might say. I enjoyed this post.
Fathers are something special and I always feel so privileged to know that my father loves and wants his daughters.
Such a touching post, Rashi. For your father, in that day and age to fight against the mindset of society and to single-handedly take care of the family, is so inspiring! He was truly a very special man indeed!
This is such a beautiful and emotional post ! Nothing is stronger than a father – daughter bond..
I think most of us can relate to this. But dads will always be the first love of a daughter. If I didnt have a daughter, I don’t know what I would have done. I am sure he cherished you both a lot.
Rashi I was reading your post and remembering the night my sister was born. It was Deepavali night and I was not aware of the fact that I was going to have a sibling. I could relate to your post, it was heart touching and eye opening at the same time.
I am glad you were born into such a loving family that helped you blossom into the wonderful woman you are today. Loved the post
Unknowingly I had tears in my eyes reading this one. Hats off to your dad for being the strong rock your family needed at a critical time. Love the way you write it all. Simple but moving! ❤
Such a strong and broad-minded dad. You were lucky to have such a man by your side growing up and I’m sure he was and is proud of the way you’ve turned out. This was an emotional read. Very well written indeed, Rashi.
We are three sisters and I am the eldest, so I can totally relate to this. He is with you Rashi and will always be proud of you. A tight hug!
You are truly blessed to have such a gem of a person as your father Rashi. For me, he is non less than a rea life ‘superhero’!
We have two daughters And i completely understand what your parents went through. I do hope our daughters feel that they were loved and wanted growing up! We made sure they have a solid education…
We are also three sisters, and yet, my parents had no regrets. Having such parents is a blessing. Loved your post, Rashi!